What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How is a narcissist likely to handle situations when confronted with hard truths about themselves?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why is it important for Hollywood celebrities to come out against Trump?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

My stepmother has banned me from the family. Can she legally keep me from going to my father's funeral?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Can you share any "backstage pass" experiences you have had at concerts?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Have you ever accidentally seen your mother-in-law doing something that was private to her?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.